Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thoughts...Past & Present

Wassup blogworld...this may be a lil long but this is a post that took some time to write lol...if u can make it to the end....congrats and comments are apprecated...well these past few weeks have been quite eventful..been feelin all types of ways different days...here's an update

Well work has been a pain n the ass as usual lol. How bout I was standin n front of the building at the end of the day wit my jacket and fitted on and the principal comes slinkin out her office (lemme make a point here...school was over) on her way out the door. I see shes lookin me up and down wit the look of utter disgust on..so me being my nice and kind self (Shut up!!!) I speak and say "Have a nice day and enjoy ur day off" Yall know wut this troll said??? "Mmmhmm u too" Then she asks the security guard that was sittin next to us to walk her to the door...after he does that he comes back and tells me that she was goin on about how unprofessional it was for me to have on a hat..and how I look like a student..and rah rah rah. Now normally I woulda jus ignored it but got to thinkin...this troll has the audacity to worry bout my hat when there are tons of other things for her to worry bout...like y I don't have a classroom...or y don't I have enough materials...or y do kids skip class and nothin happens to them.


So I jus thought and kept it to myself....that is until the next day of work when 3 other people came up to me sayin the principal was talkin bout me to them...come on now is this preschool...aren't we all grown...don't I do my job despite all the setbacks...that bitch can kick rocks in flip flops for all the hell I care.

Then to make matters worse...I find out that this teacher I share a room wit threw out all the textbooks the kids use...I only have about 25 books for all my middle school students...and the crazy thing is...this muthafucka admitted to throwin them out cuz the kids left them under the desks instead of puttin them back...WUT THE HELL?!?!?! So I report this shit to the vice principal and she says that this isn't the first time that teacher has done that...WUT THE HELL?!?!? Since when can u jus throw books out and not have any consequences???


Then they give us the scan sheets to do report cards last Friday and they wanted them completed on Monday…now that wouldn’t have been that much of a problem if I didn’t have over 100 student grades to calculate and bubble in. Come on now..have a damn heart…evil bastards lol.



Lately I've been feelin a lil aggrevated and frustrated wit the way my luv life (or should I say lack thereof) has been going...the following is something I wrote a few weeks back but never posted and only shared wit a few people:



How do u react when everyone around u is happy but u???? It seems like everyone else is on cloud 9...yet ur on the ground floor... U watch those around u experiencing the joy of havin someone wit them...a boyfriend or a boo...or jus a boy for the min???

I've been wonderin this for a while now...im not hatin on my people for havin someone n their lives they can share special moments with....someone who they can call and lean on when their havin a rough day or jus wanna vent...Im happy for them...it jus makes me wonder when will it be my time???

I've been single for some time now and im sooo tired of it....im startin to think somethin may be wrong wit me...I dunno.... On second thought...nah…no way lol...it jus seems like whenever im feelin someone they're not feelin me for wutever reason....and the thing is...I wanna know the reason so I can adjust wutever the "turn off" factor is...its like im constantly subjectiin myself to bein hurt....but maybe its partly my fault....grrrrrrr...but hopefully ill get over it....in time right??? uggghhh

Im not the most together guy there is...but im doin pretty good...im learnin more about myself and growin from it...I have a career, my own place, car, and strivin for more...im a loyal and dedicated and honest person...but I guess those things r turn offs for others...it makes me think...hmmmm

Im jus aggrevated right now...im tryin to stay positive but the shit gets harder every day...when will it be my time??? When will I stop fallin for the guys that don't wanna deal wit me on that level? When will I find the guy that's as crazy for me as I am for him? So many questions...but yet no answers...hmmmm....im jus frustrated, aggrevated, and tired of the bull....I need a drink and a cigarette...maybe thatll bring some clarity...if not at least ill feel better

Returnin back to the present.....Well now that I've got that out...I feel a lil better...well other than bein horny as hell...haven't had sex in a while and its startin to take its toll lol... guess im glowin like a nite light lol

I've been called the most conservative out the group lol so I don't do random hookups or anythin like that....if I kiss someone or do anything further wit a dude I've known him for awhile....but thas not even happenin right now...ugghh...wuts a guy to do...im jus waitin for the right guy...even though I got someone on my mind lol....it gets a lil depressin at times but ill manage....I have hope that things will work out fine…maybe this is a time when I should focus on other things like work and other rah rah (but I think ive done that enough lol)

Well this week is almost over and im plottin for the weekend kinda...im thinkin bout havin the crew over for some movies, drinks, and some eats...but I guess time will tell lol. Of course imma have to finish school work before I can relax. Wut yall got planned for the weekend??? Anything interesting?

12 comments:

Pharaoh said...

Yippy, I made it to the end. Do I get some cookies? lol Yes the pun was intended in response to you being horny ;-P (me too.)
The work stuff ... maybe go to the principal and let her know you heard what she said and remind her that gossip is even more unprofessional than you wearing a cap.
I am also frustrated with the lack of a love life...and I'm tired of it as well. I see a lot of similarities between us at the moment.
If I had an answer as to how to deal with those frustions...I'd gladly share them with you. For the moment I just accept it as my burden to carry.
I will say, that I think it's like anything else, you/we have to vent our feeling about it when the burden seems heaviest and I think that helps to ease things. So from one "ox cart" to another - lean on me, I'll help share your load - :)
What's funny about my life, my bestfriend has a sleu of men nearly falling over themsleves to be with him...and he says he isn't ready for a relationship right now. Go figure, LOL thankfully he lives in NYC while I'm in LA and I don't have to SEE that madness everyday...lol just hear about it.

Pharaoh said...

Oh as for plans for the weekend...I'm going to see my other bestfriend in Miami. So that may be another suggestion...plan a "gettaway" somewhere....it helps like venting.

thegayte-keeper said...

I made it all the way to the end...thankx for the updates...I feel your pain about being single but don't loose heart he is out there, he just isn't quite ready yet...so don't loose heart

thegayte-keeper said...

oh snap I forgot about the weekend...well my car is coming out of the shop tomorrow dunno what the hell I am going to do...guess it depends on what money is left or what baby boy wants to do...

Q said...

No random hook-ups, what's wrong with you...lol. I'm kidding.

Darius T. Williams said...

Hmph - so that deal w/the principal - wow. I'm hoping that gets worked out some kinda way. That's horribly that she acts like that - and you know then folks wonder why the school system is the way it is...shucks - that makes no sense. Keep rocking the fitteds though - if that's unique to who u are - don't change. You're a cutie - I bet you're hot in the hat.

In regards to your relationship life - geez, it's all our stories. Just keep being you - keep making you better! Eff them nuccas! You'll get who you deserve in due time.

This weekend? I'm trying to get ready for this trip and get a bit of rest...that's it - nothing too excited.

houstonmacbro said...

Okay, this was a long post, but I've read longer ...

I am just sick of the story you told about your workplace. I know the students aren't always angels, but when you have grown folks, many of them with master and doctoral degrees, acting petty and ridiculous, it makes you wonder if the kids aren't the more sane ones.

Enjoy your time by yourself. Learn to pleasure yourself (pun intended) and know that you are complete by yourself.

Relationships aren't always what they are cracked up, or appear, to be.

Got a family business retreat planned for this weekend in Camp Allen right outside of Houston.

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

and that is yet another reason why as much as i would love to be a teacher i just refuse...

lack of resources, lack of responsibility, and lack of humanity... all that with lack of pay ill pass

fuzzy said...

on some real talk, i feel you on that whole looking for somebody to love, and everything else! I would hope to consider myself apart of your friends, but I can not even think about saying that I am on cloud 9! I would say maybe cloud 2, lol

That principal you have is gonna need a dose of reality! I can't think of a better person to give it to her. Those prissy bitches in they damned Dereon Jeans!

ShawnQt said...

IF THERE IS ANYONE THAT DESERVES HAPPINESS IN LOVE, ITS YOU.

But you know I already told you that. I swear to you Im going to make a reality dating show for you! We are going to have a QT check up on you, and what type of progress your making to finding a date!

Mr. Jones said...

She has a point, but so do you. You shouldn't have been wearing the hat on the yard around the kids. Imagine walking into thru the offices of any nonprofit with a fitted on. You're a professional and should want to be taken seriously. I'm sure your newest Yankee fitted (or Mets if you're on that bangwagon) looks fresh as hell with your loafers, but....save that for the train or something..

I see where ur coming from too though. She has bigger fish to fry, but she's making an issue out of this bullshit. Meanwhile, her school sounds like its falling apart. She has her own shit she needs to deal with before thinking about a damn hat. Then, she went and got all catty and shit. Talk about classless.

Anyway, the kids need to see a professional, hat-less black male at school. You should be setting the tone.

As for the whole being horny thing, join the club. I had some of the best sex ever a couple weekends ago and now I'm no good.

Mr. Jones said...

She has a point, but so do you. You shouldn't have been wearing the hat on the yard around the kids. Imagine walking into thru the offices of any nonprofit with a fitted on. You're a professional and should want to be taken seriously. I'm sure your newest Yankee fitted (or Mets if you're on that bangwagon) looks fresh as hell with your loafers, but....save that for the train or something..

I see where ur coming from too though. She has bigger fish to fry, but she's making an issue out of this bullshit. Meanwhile, her school sounds like its falling apart. She has her own shit she needs to deal with before thinking about a damn hat. Then, she went and got all catty and shit. Talk about classless.

Anyway, the kids need to see a professional, hat-less black male at school. You should be setting the tone.

As for the whole being horny thing, join the club. I had some of the best sex ever a couple weekends ago and now I'm no good.