Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm thinkin.....

I've been thinkin about my book post for a while now..different thoughs passin thru my head at different times... I asked yall wut yall thought about this...here's wut I think... Why is it so hard for us as a people to embrace our children and one another for who we are.  Jus cuz ur attracted to the same sex doesn't make u less of a person or any of that.  I remember tellin my mom after comin out to her (more on that later n the post) would u be happier if I told u I got some girl pregnant? Or I was addicted to drugs?  Like being gay is the worst thing n the world. 

Unfortunately many of our parents and elders feels that way for some reason.  Now I can only speak for me but being gay wasn't a choice....its how I was born...is part of who I am.  Does my being gay take away from every other part of me???? Hell no...so y is it so hard for people to accept the fact that we are all different...to each his own...and all that other rah rah. 

If my mother or family referred to me as the "gay son" or "gay one" or wutever I know it would bother me.  I don't know how long it would have taken me to get over that kind of hurt/betrayal and thank God I don't have to worry bout that. 

I can relate to the author's words (however poorly written at times) about black folks being thrown outta their families and cast aside.  That was one of my greatest fears growing up.  Being kicked to the curb for bein who u truly are.  That's part of the reason it took me so long to come out to my mom.  Althought she raised me the majority of my life as a ingle parent, I still had no idea wut to expect. 

Y do we feel we have to hide our tru selves? When will our soceity be able to accept us as equals? It's kinda sad that other cultures and ethnicities can embrace, accept, and support their children whole heartedly. Although some successes have been made i feel like we have a long way to go.


thegayte-keeper said...

our time is coming...BELIEVE that...just keep the faith

fuzzy said...

I think its our human nature to not want to be judged by our peers. If we reveal our true selves and weren't accepted, then now we're now at that rejected status. Nobody wants to be rejected either. Most people want to be in someone's "in crowd".

It may be easier to hide who we are and to create a facade that is more accepting to everyone. Side effect, you fall victim to identity issues and don't know the real you...

I've babbled, ttyl!

houstonmacbro said...

My family has been the MOST accepting, distinguished from friends or acquaintances. Some parents and relatives just cant get over it, because that is how they were raised or religion (a very nasty weed I personally wish would just go away).

Darius T. Williams said...

Great post - but you know, I totally understand why we hide it. Hell, I hid it forever and in certain scenarios I still hide it. I think it's a judgement call that we make. I'm not sure that we always make the right judgements either.

You know, this thing is hard because as much as you want to be out and about and free - you really can't. Do that shit in corporate america - especially if you're Black and chances are you'll never make Director of VP Status. That's just how it is sometimes. I work for a small company where all the mofos are Republican. I gotta play the game - they're conservative as hell - ain't no we shall overcome AT ALL. So, again, I can understand why some people choose to hide it.

I will say this - the more you come out, the easier it becomes. People will eventually accept you for you...and if they don't, then you learn how to activate operation fuck-it!

I'm just saying...it ain't the easiest...that's all.

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

me and my mother are going through this right now...

i told her 4 years ago in the midst of an argument and we never said 2 words about until a month ago. She tells me i should pray about it... when I tell her I have been praying for 12 years... she says to keep praying.

now i stand in the crossroads of how do i get her to understand i finally accept me for being me and get her to that point.

enjoyed your post man.

houstonmacbro said...

Prayer suggests there is something that needs to be fixed. Religious people kill me ... on one hand they say "God doesn't make mistakes," but on the other hand you should pray to be fixed because in this case, he actually did.

Which is it?

He's either perfect and incapable of mistakes or He is a blundering mistake-ridden God who really makes errors and wants the subjects of His errors to pray to be fixed.

What a load of bull hockey!

(No disrespect to your mom.)

Nobody not really... said...

This is wild!

I just had this conversation with a friend of mine this weekend. He's been meeting people on the Internet behind his boyfriend's back. Not that he's meeting them for sex, it's just that he wants to make friends. Meeting people over the Internet might make him uneasy, he said, since that's how he and the boyfriend met.

I told him if the bf's insecure, he'll be worried. If not, he'll be fine.

I think we hide things because we think it'll protect others. When it finally comes to light, tho, it looks like lies.

fuzzy said...

is it right to hide something to protect someone?

life said...

All of us want to be accepted and loved. We fear someone taking their love away because of our sexuality.

fuzzy said...

some may feel people taking away the love, but others may fear accepting the love in the first place. I believe that often times, love is offered but many times turned away!

jerzey_reality said...

@ Fuzzy:
interesting point about hiding urself to be part of the in crowd but falling victim to identity issues. Is there a point to conforming urself to have others like u when ur living a lie?

I know having an accepting family has made it easier. Once my mom came around and accepted it, our relationship was stronger. Great point about God not making mistakes...I was jus havin a similar convo wit a friend the other day

I understand where ur coming from...I think it's still sad that people can be denied wut they deserve based upon their race/sexual orientation/sex/religion etc. Discrimination is still here...its jus changed its form a lil

@ C. Baptiste
Accepting urself is the first major step. In time ur mother will come around...hopefully. My mother told me to pray about it, pray on it, pray over it, and pray under it...and in case i didn't she prayed for me...hmmmm

Meeting people over the internet behind the boyfriend's back...hmmm. I've been in that situation before and was leary about it. Regardless of wut my boyfriend at the time said i still thought he was full of shit.

@ life:
Shouldn't people love us in spite of our sexuality??? I think we all look for tru acceptance in spite of

Q said...

It was definitely hard for me growing up. My dad is a baptist minister. We have never til this day discussed my sexuality. It's like a huge pink elephant in the middle of the room, and everyone trying to ignore it's presence.
I'm a grown man on my own now, so it doesn't bother me as much--Or does it? I do look at friends who can take their lovers home and feel a bit slighted. I guess it could worse. That's my cross to bear...